my recommendation to you.
do not go to law school.
this is really getting serious, like not fun anymore. finals are in a month and im going home for thanksgiving so its more like 3 weeks. i am going to fail and have to move to whichita in order to afford my cost of living to pay off my school loans which ended up doing nothing for me.
how foolish to think that it would be fun and reminiscent of my childhood to return to school. this is hell. and everyone keeps insisting that i am going to be a lawyer or something aweful like that. i went to my resume writing workshop today and they are trying to make me turn my beautiful resume (ive spent years perfecting it) into some bullshit law student resume geared toward getting a job at a law firm. bullshit i tell you, fucking bullshit.
on a less obnoxious note, my parents were just here and they love new york. im amazed that they didnt pick up on the fact that ive become a raging alcoholic but they retired to their hotel every night while i continued to go out and drink. they did notice one night when they went to a broadway show and i stayed home and sulked...(i was pmsing, listening to sade, and writing) i met up with them at dinner after the show. Before they had left for the show i had opened a bottle of wine they had brought me from napa and called to tell them it was delicious. when i met them for dinner they asked about the wine again and asked how much i had drank. i admitted to drinking the whole bottle in a matter of about two hours then proceeded to order a glass of whatever red my mom was drinking. towards the end of dinner i was excitedly talking about something, as i usually do, and they kept telling me to lower my voice because i get really loud when im drunk. im suprised they didnt realize that i had no excuse to be drunk because it was a thursday night that i had spent alone in my apartment with dim lighting and depressing music. i guess they were just really happy to see me.
im a little better now because i think im temporarily off of my drinking-every-night kick. i've switched back to weed. it relaxes me so much more and i dont get all emotional. instead i lay comatose in front of the tv until i evenutally fall asleep. its much more affective in helping me to avoid the bullshit that suffocates my life. drinking only made me think of it more and get angry about it, waking up the next morning with bruises and unknown strained muscles.
so thats about that. for today. my life is still complicated and i wish it werent, like when i was seven in the back yard up high in the tree hiding from my mom because i beat up some kid on the playground.
but no. im an old fuck now and for some aweful reason im in law school.
next time you see me,
shoot me.
this is really getting serious, like not fun anymore. finals are in a month and im going home for thanksgiving so its more like 3 weeks. i am going to fail and have to move to whichita in order to afford my cost of living to pay off my school loans which ended up doing nothing for me.
how foolish to think that it would be fun and reminiscent of my childhood to return to school. this is hell. and everyone keeps insisting that i am going to be a lawyer or something aweful like that. i went to my resume writing workshop today and they are trying to make me turn my beautiful resume (ive spent years perfecting it) into some bullshit law student resume geared toward getting a job at a law firm. bullshit i tell you, fucking bullshit.
on a less obnoxious note, my parents were just here and they love new york. im amazed that they didnt pick up on the fact that ive become a raging alcoholic but they retired to their hotel every night while i continued to go out and drink. they did notice one night when they went to a broadway show and i stayed home and sulked...(i was pmsing, listening to sade, and writing) i met up with them at dinner after the show. Before they had left for the show i had opened a bottle of wine they had brought me from napa and called to tell them it was delicious. when i met them for dinner they asked about the wine again and asked how much i had drank. i admitted to drinking the whole bottle in a matter of about two hours then proceeded to order a glass of whatever red my mom was drinking. towards the end of dinner i was excitedly talking about something, as i usually do, and they kept telling me to lower my voice because i get really loud when im drunk. im suprised they didnt realize that i had no excuse to be drunk because it was a thursday night that i had spent alone in my apartment with dim lighting and depressing music. i guess they were just really happy to see me.
im a little better now because i think im temporarily off of my drinking-every-night kick. i've switched back to weed. it relaxes me so much more and i dont get all emotional. instead i lay comatose in front of the tv until i evenutally fall asleep. its much more affective in helping me to avoid the bullshit that suffocates my life. drinking only made me think of it more and get angry about it, waking up the next morning with bruises and unknown strained muscles.
so thats about that. for today. my life is still complicated and i wish it werent, like when i was seven in the back yard up high in the tree hiding from my mom because i beat up some kid on the playground.
but no. im an old fuck now and for some aweful reason im in law school.
next time you see me,
shoot me.
3 Comments:
you got high when you were 7
wow i think we live parellel lives except i don't go to law school and refuse to give up drinking. so if you get back on the wagon. i'm your girl.
awesome, i'll jump back on that wagon, but i thought you were trying to get off? arent we just switching places all the time...cant we just be drunks together for once?
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