what happens

what happens when someone disappears from friendster?
are they gone forever, have they been wiped away by some unseen hand never to return.
is it one less string that has been detached, leaving you with nothing but a handful of broken cords, memories connected to nothing.
are the days meant to be brighter now that friendster is no longer a reminder?
or was it all just a joke.
the whole thing, from the beginning.

and the nights spent crying, the days spent lying
all these some fabricated act conceived to fill time and space
and put me in my place
as i wait
for the realness
the senseless acceptance of truth.

and then there are the fillers,
those that come and go
those that help you spend your nights, and keep you busy on the phone,
when its time to be alone, they are set free and you can see what you need to be.

o but then there remain some whom you find on the tip of your tongue as you wake from dreaming.
those whom you have to expend effort to dilute their images in your mind.
and they text message you, but you do not reply
they might have thought of you once or twice,
but if they knew of the moments that they surprisedly spring upon your conscious,
how startling, how often, how irritating.

because it is from all of this that i wish to be clear.
to get up in the morning and complete those tasks which await me, to disregard those persons who evade me.

its cold in new york again, responsibilities have lessened, alone time has increased...something i wished for, now i cant seem to get out of bed to do work...the effortless moments are so appealing...