so i thought it was...

distraction.
but i've changed my opinion.
now i know its much much bigger than that. and endless, deep, strong, patient.

so this time alone and reflection eternal.

i recall beautiful sunny days with thoughts in my brain
pen and paper in hand
sitting by the reflection pool at the christian science center
in boston.

and i thought i was distracted,
but now i see the intention. somewhere lost in a maze beyond her eyes.
so maybe thats why i stick around. to find the end of the maze.
but its endless, so im engaged. determined but subdued, like a drug.

and while my eyes are locked, my body moves.
it strengthens and grows it sways and flows.

the sense of touch heightened, as i explore.
for my eyes are locked and do not work anymore.

there are places, on a person's body.
like a scented marker or scratch n sniff stickers...you inhale the scent so much you are afraid you'll wear it out.

the moments in fact are hours. the days in fact weeks.
and though it feels like yesterday, its been long since we first did meet.

i think my favorite is, the thing i think of most.
that another individual, strong. willful. pure. has set up post.

nights so long they turn to days.

the thing i want to thank you for.
now i know what it is.
its not that i want to thank you for my growth.
but that i want to thank you for helping me realize that i have grown.
i have grown and i am strong and this is exactly what i desire. all of it.

awaiting the empire.