7.14.2008

motion - e

today was gloomy.
I awoke to the sound of rain on my window and emptiness in my soul.
I knew there were tasks ahead of me and I wanted nothing to do with them.

and I rode my bike.
uphill.
and the uphill seemed to last for miles. much longer than I was prepared for. so much uphill that Im not sure I reached a top, if there were ever a top.

because, this is not about you, this is about me. and for me, its not about you, its about me.

so why can't I stop thinking of you. is there anything left in me?

supposedly the inspiration will come, the words will flow out of my mouth like vomit after too much Jameson's.

Until then I clean, and keep busy, and think of ways to be inspired.

What do I like to do? Where do I like to go?

Why do I feel so fucking privileged - whining when I truly have it all. So much more than so many others. Im so sick of feeling sorry for myself. But I feel so lost its all I can muster to feel.

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