spanish women

i've concluded that i have a weakness for spanish women. when i say spanish i mean spanish in all shapes and sizes from espana to dominican republic to peurto rico to cuba to columbia to mexico to bronx. not to mention those brazilians.
funny how a white girl who is determined to identify as moroccan can have such an affinity for the sexy latina ways with their moves and their curves and their words and their lips and their hips and not to mention the ass.
i am having a hard time getting over my ex-girlfriend's family. shitty when you find a family that replicates the one that you have a hard time living without but cant help it because they are in california.
my other family, the one here in ny & va are very welcoming and loving. i have been debating whether or not to spend time with them because i dont want to make my ex feel uncomfortable, but i rationalize that she has made me feel terribly uncomfortable on more than several occassions and i dont give a shit how she feels. i miss them and i have a relationship with them so i will see them.
enough of this. im concerned that i will only date spanish women until i find one to marry, have children with and create a family that resembles mine and those that i love.
i wonder how some people can go through life waiting to get married. as if their sole purpose is to be a wife, or a husband, mother, father, whatever. im afraid i've spent too much time in love recently and i've lost sight of my internal inspiration. the days when i needed nothing but my music, my creative space, and time. now i have no time, no creative space, and music that only frustrates me because i want more. i want those things that make me whole, that make me satisfied without having to outsource the satisfaction from some spanish woman.
time to get back on my shit, but this law school thing gets in the way.
i want to dance. alone.