11:49
what is it about relationships that make us so weak? there exists a sense of self providing worth when single that somehow seems to regress when tied to another.
there are certain emotional strengths that get jumbled in the overwhelming confusion of falling in love, strengths that you may not experience loosing, but yearn for once you realize they are gone. a sense of individuality, one that promotes self-confidence, assuredness, self-appreciation, and self-growth, unsharpens itself to where it remains a silhouette of its former glory. and you slowly begin to realize just how important these things are. you are left with a false sense of independence which you believe you can retrieve at any moment, but it is those nights when you yearn for your lover and wish to have something to take your mind off of the vacant cavity in your heart, the restless picking at your frustration, the helpless unknowing of what to do alone, if just for a few hours. this is when you realize just how much of a crutch you've developed. and you always thought that you were stronger than that. you were under the impression that you are superior in independence within the relationship. you pleaded and pressed for nights out alone to be with friends and maintain the false pretense that you were just as strong as before. Hiding under the guise that you were one blink from single...still available, clenching to the institution of dating, flirting, pretending. and all of this because it made you feel good about yourself. because it helped you when you were single. it was the source of acceptance from others that you needed when you had no single person to fulfill this emptiness.
and the question remains. why is it that we are unable to be self-sufficient without another person or group of loosely involved persons to provide us with the strength we need to stand as individuals. being in a relationship hinders the progress on the quest to achieve complete self-fulfillment, while i am under the impression that while single long enough, that goal is attainable. so why then, do we interfere with reaching our goal by involving ourselves in relationships with others that in the end only appears to hurt us. weaken us.
-the cynic
there are certain emotional strengths that get jumbled in the overwhelming confusion of falling in love, strengths that you may not experience loosing, but yearn for once you realize they are gone. a sense of individuality, one that promotes self-confidence, assuredness, self-appreciation, and self-growth, unsharpens itself to where it remains a silhouette of its former glory. and you slowly begin to realize just how important these things are. you are left with a false sense of independence which you believe you can retrieve at any moment, but it is those nights when you yearn for your lover and wish to have something to take your mind off of the vacant cavity in your heart, the restless picking at your frustration, the helpless unknowing of what to do alone, if just for a few hours. this is when you realize just how much of a crutch you've developed. and you always thought that you were stronger than that. you were under the impression that you are superior in independence within the relationship. you pleaded and pressed for nights out alone to be with friends and maintain the false pretense that you were just as strong as before. Hiding under the guise that you were one blink from single...still available, clenching to the institution of dating, flirting, pretending. and all of this because it made you feel good about yourself. because it helped you when you were single. it was the source of acceptance from others that you needed when you had no single person to fulfill this emptiness.
and the question remains. why is it that we are unable to be self-sufficient without another person or group of loosely involved persons to provide us with the strength we need to stand as individuals. being in a relationship hinders the progress on the quest to achieve complete self-fulfillment, while i am under the impression that while single long enough, that goal is attainable. so why then, do we interfere with reaching our goal by involving ourselves in relationships with others that in the end only appears to hurt us. weaken us.
-the cynic
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