how do we know

what we want to do with our lives. is it supposed to be programmed into our heads? are we all born with a mission and it simply takes some of us longer to get the message that will self destruct?
there are those who are given the gift of passion and direction. there are those who do what they are told or fall into a routine and live out their lives with very little passion in what they do. and there are still those who have a passion, who desire a rewarding form of making a living, those who want to do what makes them happy but are not as fortunate as those who have been given a clear path to achievement.
do these lost souls wander the earth, odd job after odd job, shifting from doing what they are told to doing what makes them happy.
but there are so many things. like life would be better if there were three of the same person to go out and tackle the world.

and i honestly wonder when you know you've had a nervous breakdown. i mean, in my mind i would imagine it most like a seizure. foam bubbling at the mouth, loss of words and gravity. and then this sort of drugged peace, like some of your mind has been erased and the innocence is replaced

if anyone has any answers i would love to know. i would love the key to unlock my mysery. the answer to the test thats been keeping me up nights, the key to the map that i simply cannot seem to read.