1.29.2006

tangible

anyone can write a book.
ideas are spread by word of mouth, by influence, coercion, persuasion, implication.
and people are simply suceptable to these thoughts and the inheritence of these thoughts into our trains of thought.
almost as if the mechanism designed to transform memory into doing is applied widely and any and all information gets stuck in our brains...a building block to our lives our societies our histories. and we have no say. there are no mind erasers, no memory disenhancers, no natural filtration system to weed out the unimportant or unnecessary information. so we are all vulnerable to the capacity of eachothers brain.
like the only restraints might simply be in our make up. in the actual science of our minds, unless you prefer another classification other than science. But thats another conversation.
So what i mean is simply this:
if our brains have the capactiy of something like one cup of water, and we can only think in terms of water, we are self contained as a species to think within certain confines of what we've all been given.
And further, if we are all in this together...even playing field if you will, then I wonder what the restraints are when applied to the actual thinking "in terms of water", since, of course, this is our only guideline. What does that mean? Will different people think in terms of water differently? WIll all people be able to decipher another "thinking" in terms of water? Can your thinking of water affect my thinking of water? If I were to take a large portion of my water and chemically duplicate it, then drain the same amount from your cup of water and replace it with my chemically duplicated water, would I essentially be "brain washing" you (funny...washing...water...) by replacing your thoughts with mine? How many thoughts can fill up the one cup of water? Are we born with a predetermined "thought" of the water already in our heads? Or are each of our waters chemically different though we are all somehow able to share "ideas" of water because we speak the same language?

Have you ever thought about what other people see? I often imagine complete darkness and all of us running around seeing different things...imagining different masses then physically being aware of them...maybe when the brain creates a physical image it correlates the imaginary physical image and its "visual" reproduction (which is really just a tought of a visual image) to a "touching" sensation on all "touching" receivers (fingers, body, short hairs on the back of your neck). So really its all just one big mind fuck with all senses plugged in to the game console...
Remember in the 80's when they thought virtual realtiy would become a new world in which we already exist. Like we can set up a computer program to create a "car" in the virtual reality game, but there's no car there...its just a binary representation.
But what if we already exist in this virtual reality world...and we have forever... and we're just living out the game.

Is that what they think god is? The super IT man...the computer programmer that created this version of SIM CITY...and the universe is actually some clubhouse with a bunch of tech geeks with their own worlds...

Did you ever wonder what kind of societites ants have? And how they view humans? Are we similar to the "giants' we protray in our childrens books like "Jack and the beanstalk" or Lord of the Rings?

I guess if you remove the time/space continuum that we seem to have created as an explaination for our existance, or at least a user interface for it...what remains? Maybe its really like the Matrix. Or maybe this is all happening as some strange dream that is in actuality only a fraction of the "life" of whatever being is creating this dream...in whatever "world" it exists...

I'm thinking of starting a new religion as a way to make money...but also and probably more importantly as a way to examine the ease of interpretation and the power of marketing.
And in effect, as a way to exclaim to the "world"...look at how fucking silly we're all being.

1.24.2006

weight

I lost my identity somewhere along the way
just when i thought i was getting closer
but maybe its the mood i woke up in today
or maybe its that i awoke sober

I wrestled with thoughts that weighed heavy on my mind
so heavy in fact that they actually stopped time
the clock on the wall stuck at 8.45
and the thoughts kept pressing till I felt I went blind

but when i opened my eyes i seemed to forget
cuz your smile and your lips were right there
and for a moment those heavy thoughts they just left
and i lost myself in the scent of your hair

its too bad that you left cuz you could have set free
whatever had been suffocating me
but now its become clear and plain to see
that these heavy thoughts just wont let me be

1.19.2006

no

please dont misread me
although at times im misleading
cuz i know that you really see me
and i can always feel you breathing
i dont want to hear the plea
because you should know that all i see
all i breathe all dream
is the future of you and me.

it is a tangible truth
those thoughts of you
so i hope you'll be soothed
by the current proof

and i look forward to our life.

1.03.2006

ghosts

its not that theres a ghost of you
but i seem to sense some force of you
i wonder if i seek to shed you
in some permanency and by leaving
by recreating
im dissolving you
visibly feeling you disappear
but little remnants pop up and i stop
i stop
but i start
i start to stop the stop
because i just dont want to stop anymore.

and maybe these are the lasts thoughts we'll share
maybe these times are the final caresses of my memories
and the rest shall be buried, with the ghosts
buried with what ever else ive put down
pushed out and away from any space conducive to containing these thoughts.

I have changed.
it is apparent as i rearrange and renovate and prepare for a newness.
my past has ended and my future has already begun.

i open my arms and feel the most comforting reassuring sense of tangible reality.